You've Got To Be Kitten Me
by Sailor Stark
Summary: In an alternate universe the girls are allowed to be ordinary girls. Well, in Minako's case, as ordinary as she can be. In this universe too Rei takes her girlfriend's eccentricities in stride. (ReixMinako - AU - No Magic)


_Wow. Mina's house is beautiful_ , Rei observed with wonder. The building was larger than she expected, but its charm came from something other than just size. It seemed to have a personality of its own. She had been invited for the first time to the home of her new girlfriend, Minako, who had greeted her at the doorstep with one of her famous, bone-crunching hugs, and a quick kiss.

Immediately upon her entering, Minako had demanded to take Rei on a tour of the house, slipping her delicate hand straight into Rei's and tightly interlocking their fingers. There was no way Minako was going to lose her, not even for a second. Rei barely had time to breathe, let alone make conversation, before she was spirited off down the nearest corridor, towed along affectionately by the short, bubbly blonde.

The walls were a rich white, given color by the myriad bizarre and captivating paintings that lined them, the context of which Rei could only guess at. She asked now and then about the meanings behind some of them, but Minako would either shrug and skip over to the next painting, or she would invent ridiculous, far-fetched stories to suit them. It was evident Minako knew little more than anyone else about the art on the walls, but she seemed to enjoy the challenge of devising an outlandish anecdote, hoping to trick her guest into believing them. One landscape composition dashed with swirls of blue and green supposedly chronicled the adventures of a band of forest and sea critters taking to space on the backs of sentient fruit. Listening intently – though not even slightly convinced – Rei would find herself studying Minako's animated face as these tales were spun, lost no longer in the shapes on the canvas, but instead in the loveliness and passion of the girl before her. The second Minako grew bored of her own story, or forgot her train of thought, she would once again shrug and skip over to something else.

Mantelpieces and tabletops were decorated with the typically cute family photos that have a tendency to evoke a sentimental "awww". Buried behind several others, one particular photograph caught Rei's attention. It was a picture of Minako and her family sitting outside and enjoying the sun around a large garden table. Rei thought Mina looked particularly beautiful in it despite the large, foolish grin on her face, or perhaps _because_ of it. Her hair was tied back into a long ponytail reminiscent of their mutual friend Makoto Kino. What intrigued her most about the photo, however, was the presence of a large, white mass of fur curled up in Minako's arms.

"Is this _your_ cat?" Rei asked with an inquisitive smile, turning sharply to face her girlfriend, her long, black hair turning with her. Instead of a reply, Rei was met by an imitation _purr_ and an infectious giggle – Rei was reminded that cat noises were something Minako was overly fond of mimicking. She wasn't sure why, but then again Rei was very unsure about many things regarding Minako. "What? Tell me," she demanded with half-hearted stubbornness, feeling herself on the verge of breaking into a smile of her own despite her best efforts.

Minako beamed slyly, flustering her with another endearing kiss. "Come on, let's keep going."

Rei had seen no evidence of a feline around the house, and so guessed that it will have belonged to a friend or neighbor. She thought nothing of Minako's unsubtle evasiveness, and chalked it down to her partner's innate hyperactivity.

The couple spent the next several minutes dancing around the house, snickering at this and that, until Minako abruptly stopped in front of a closed door, distinctly unremarkable save for a sign that read "Minako's Room" in flowery writing.

"So... are you ready for the _pièce de résistance_?" Minako asked, standing in the doorway and radiating a poorly-restrained smile, completely unable to mask her excitement. Rei tilted her head, not unlike an attentive puppy might, and smiled quizzically. Minako was unable to control the need to tell her just how adorable that expression was, and bounced up to her, squishing Rei's face in her hands. "So cute!" she said. "My Rei is so adorbs!"

"Hey, don't smush me. This is the moneymaker," Rei managed to mutter from between Minako's playful paws, pouting her lips into a kissy face. Although Rei was joking, Minako was well aware that her girlfriend _was_ stunningly good-looking. Indeed, most of their friends would reluctantly agree that she was one of the prettiest girls in town, as well as one of the most talented. However, the most beautiful thing about her, Minako thought, was her spirit. Though she was proud she was far from arrogant. Rei probably wasn't even aware herself of how alluring she really was. Sadly, not a lot of people knew her like Minako did, and they often accused her of being cold and unfriendly, preferring to stay away from her. But for the people who were closest to her, Rei would go to the ends of the earth and beyond. Minako took a moment to admire the contorted – yet still somehow gorgeous – face before her.

"Earth to Mina?" Rei asked, evidently noticing Minako's escape into the clouds.

"Sorry!" Minako chuckled, blushing as she finally returned to reality. She gave Rei the peck before theatrically swinging open the door to her room.

While Minako dashed inside and hopped deftly onto her bed, Rei stood awe-struck in the doorway. Now, while it was widely known that while their friend Usagi was a rabbit-fan, Minako herself was a fan of all things cat-related. Yet Rei still found herself taken somewhat aback by the amount of cat paraphernalia that littered the bedroom. She'd expected to see a stuffed toy here and a picture there, but the challenge came in finding a spot of wall or floor that _wasn't_ filled with some sort of kitten plushie or drawing. Rei's gaze drifted across each corner of the room as she took in the sight. She was careful to step deliberately as she walked towards her girlfriend, keen to avoid treading on anything valuable. Minako remained perched cross-legged at the foot of her bed, studying her guest and tightly clutching her favourite pillow – a large, round one resembling a cat's head. To one side of room sat Minako's vanity table.

Rei hadn't realised how long she'd been staring until her girlfriend broke the silence with a sad, self-conscious mewl. "You don't like it... It's too much, isn't it?" Minako's head was lowered and she gripped her cat pillow even tighter as she spoke, her voice dramatically soft.

Troubled with not knowing if she had truly upset her girlfriend or if Minako was joking, Rei quickly spoke up. "No," she said, shaking her head emphatically. "Not at all."

Rei needn't say anything more. At the first word, Minako was uplifted and beaming another loving grin. Of course it didn't take long for her to begin purring, to which Rei smiled and shook her head with feigned, friendly disapproval. Before Rei could so much as tut at the girl's silliness, however, Minako had crawled up to the foot of the bed and pinched her sleeve, pulling Rei down towards her. They shared a pleasant kiss, giggling in unison as Minako brushed a lock of Rei's raven hair behind her ear and continued to lure her further onto the bed.

Without warning, and in stark contrast with the romantic atmosphere, Rei's eyes went wide and she suddenly recoiled. With a delicate, feminine squeak, she looked away and sneezed. Minako was equally as taken aback as Rei, and in a moment of dramatic alarm managed to flinch herself vigorously off the side of the bed and onto the floor. She landed heavily and winced, somewhat winded by the fall.

"Oh my God," Rei said nervously, rushing over to tend to her girlfriend. "Are you okay? I'm sorry!" She continued to ask for forgiveness, doing her best to console Minako as she groaned on the floor, having now adopted the fetal position.

Minako's pain didn't seem to last long, however, as she was very soon distracted by a fluffy blur of white dashing across the room and nimbly leaping onto her vanity table, knocking over a small bottle of nail polish as it did so. Rei seemed not to notice, instead preoccupied with comforting the injured girl. Almost as quickly as she'd fallen, Minako was back on her feet, supposedly oblivious to the pain she was in only moments ago. Leaving her confused partner frowning and kneeling beside the bed, she skipped over to the vanity table and picked up the intrusive companion – her large tomcat.

"Rei! Let me formally introduce you to... " Minako held the bundle of fur out towards Rei, as though she were offering it to her. "… Artemis Nekokami!"

Artemis, looked at Rei with an expression far beyond unimpressed, dangled helplessly from Minako's arms while Rei backed decisively away from him.

"Say hello to Arty, Rei!" Minako said innocently. The cat's piercing, blue eyes stared straight through Rei and infinitely off into the distance.

Rei backed up further, holding her hands protectively in front of her. "Uh… Mina?" she said, a note of warning in her voice.

"Yesh?" Minako replied in a childish tone, complete with a small pout. "Don't tell me you don't like cats?"

"No, its just I'm allergic to cats."

Artemis hissed.

Rei balked.

Minako laughed.


End file.
